This letter is written in luminescent ink, in a flowing hand, on a silvery, metallic sheet.
Greetings, Puny Human-Things! I AM MORTHANK THE CONQUEROR, Chief Overmaster of Chenluk and Brood-Lord to the Granlok Horde!
Our world is an old world, human-thing. Its resources have long been used up, and our people grow decadent and cruel. Our technology is mighty, but fewer and fewer larvae seek to learn the proper maintenance. The atmosphere generators that keep our tenuous atmosphere from escaping into the heavens to sustain some younger, less worthy race are slowly wearing down and even our canals, bringing precious liquid water to us from the poles, are being seized by the savage White Monkeys. Not a few of our Torturer-Savants believe our world to be dying.
However, there is a world nearby to ours. It is green and lush with water and life and its monkeys do not have venomous stingers on their myriads of tails. My advisors and toadies have suggested that we make war and conquer this green world for the greater glory of Chenluk. We have long observed this world with intellects cold and vast and unsympathetic, we know that our mighty tripods and death rays can make short work of the primitives on this world. However, the Torturer-Savants bring up the valid point that it is possible that a world so fecund with life may have horrible diseases that our mighty immune systems would not be able to cope with. WE WILL NOT BE CONQUERED BY A VIRUS!
I command you in the name of our mighty Atomic Murder-Machines to go to this world, and bring back a sample of all known diseases of that tiny world, in airtight containers so that we may study these diseases and develop immunities before we save the lives our of ancient and glorious race and its civilization by wiping out the verminous natives of the Green World. I shall place this primitive messaging system on the person of the next person to fight the Garthok, so that when he dies, his animus may carry this message to heaven.