The letter is written on a folded, slightly battered sheet of paper, in several different inks.
My Humble Greetings to the Pilgrims of the Flying Temple!
In the last year I have lost 73 keys, 22 pairs of spectacles, 193 pens, 62 shells, 93 preserved butterflies, 52 hair ornaments and over a 100 miscellaneous coins. In this time I have left my home exactly once. But none of these items appear to be in my home! The local King of the Rats, Spartacus, denies have taken them, as does the local Gremlin Lord, Myfonway (with whom I play Chess twice a week). It is quite a mystery to me, and I hope you can aid me in determining where they have gone. It is not like my world of Lesser Arcadia Minor is such a large place that things may be easily lost on it, and my humble cottage is smaller still.
I shall stick this piece of paper in my pocket where it is sure to disappear and make its way to you.