The letter is written on rice paper in what seems to be chocolate scented crayon. The whole sheet somehow smells of sugar and is slightly sticky.

Dear Monks,

Um, you know those old stories about magic lamps with genies in them, who when you release them, grant three wishes? Well, my five-year-old daughter Amanda found one that worked for real. And she used it.

Her first wish wasn't too bad -- she wished for a million stuffed animals. So yeah, the whole town is filled with stuffed animals (our house in particular), but while that's kind of annoying, it's not too much trouble and it's also sort of cute.

However, her second wish was kind of a doozy, though. She wished the whole world would be just like her favorite song, with milkshake fountains and candy fruit growing on trees and lemonade rivers and grass made of chewing gum and chocolate dirt and -- well, you get the idea.

So now, our whole world is made of sweets, and after a week of this, I for one would kill for piece of broccoli. Everyone has a sugar hangover all the time, and you wouldn't believe the mess when it rains!

You might notice that I only mentioned two wishes: that's right, Amanda was so excited by the sweets that she dropped the lamp somewhere in the house. You know, the house that was literally buried to a depth of three to four feet in stuffed animals by her first wish? My husband Henry and I've been looking desperately for the lamp for a week, but it's hard going, and we're afraid to tell anyone else about the lamp for fear we'll be held responsible for the whole mess. So maybe you could send some pilgrims to help us find the lamp so we can make a wish to undo Amanda's second wish?

Thanks!

Lisa Cockaigne

PS: I'm wrapping this letter around a stuffed kitten angel and leaving it in the fireplace -- that's supposed to work, right?