The letter is typed on expensive bond paper decorated with what appear to be masked wrestlers in the margins.
Hey Monks!
Have we got a deal for you! How would one of your pilgrims like to be a King!? That's right, one of your pilgrims could be King of Sram -- all they have to do is show up and go through some formalities.
To give you a little background, Sram is broken up into the Greens (who live in the forest and are into nature), the Reds (who live on the plains and are into warfare) and the Blues (who live in the ocean and are into fish). Well, the Greens don't trust Reds, who don't like the Blues who look down on the Greens. As you can imagine, this makes it hard to find a king everyone will agree on.
The ancients tried a bunch of stuff to solve the problem: rotating kingships (didn't work because people didn't want to hand the kingdom over to someone else's kids), kings marrying outside of their color (didn't work because that doesn't produce kids, and then you had to go through the whole thing again), and even choosing a king via ultimate combat cage matches (sort of worked, but most of the kings weren't all that smart). Eventually, the ancients came up with the idea of importing a king. So they found a whole tribe of people on some other world, and invited them to move to Sram, and their king would be our king.
This worked pretty good for a long while, but I guess there weren't enough people in the tribe, because they eventually died out. In fact, the last one died recently, leaving us with no king. Well, the three Lords of the Colors got together argued over the new king, but couldn't agree on a candidate. So they asked the Sacred Sportswriters, who suggested we get a Pilgrim from The Flying Temple to be King -- that way we could have an inexhaustible supply! And we could even combine this with traditional selection methods.
So, if you could please send us a batch of pilgrims? And don't forget them to have them bring their wrestling outfits, OK?