Not everyone on our world cares, but someone has been stealing our rainbows! After a storm, you can see them up in the sky in a cannon-armed sky-ship with black sails. They float up to the rainbow, and then stick their infernal device over the side of their ship, and actually vacuum the rainbow from the sky! Then they sail off into the sky until the next storm.
You may wonder why I care -- after all, rainbows are pretty, but hardly important, right? Wrong! Rainbows, I am convinced, our essential to our mental and spiritual health. Since this thievery began two years ago, there has been a subtle but noticeable decline in the happiness of our people. I'm a mathematician, as is my daughter Yolanda, and together we've been tracked many things: how many hours a day children play in the mud, how many times in a week adults spontaneously burst into song, the average time it takes young people fall in love again after a disappointment, and many other similar measures. And they've all shown distinct downward trends since the rainbow thefts began.
Now, who is behind this awful business, I do not know: perhaps mad scientists, perhaps the priests of Jurgen (who do seem to want to outlaw fun in our lifetime), perhaps it is the moon trolls of legend. But I can tell you where you may find them! We have watched countless of their raids using our trusty telescope, and it is clear that they always fly away to the backside of our world's tiny moon. Alas, we are not a sky-travelling people, or I would travel to the moon myself and give them a piece of my mind!
I will send this letter to the temple by repeatedly folding it until it disappears. Please send us some pilgrims to straighten this matter out!